yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
