Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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