Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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