belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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