I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Oh god it's open bar.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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