Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
