dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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