Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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