If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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