Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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