its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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