Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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