I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
