you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
