$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
