I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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