I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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