Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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