Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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