im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize