"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
