On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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