So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
