After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
how drunk are you?
Several
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
