i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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