Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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