This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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