just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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