he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
