we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
