i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
