I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize