I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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