the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
