Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
