I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
