Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
