Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You're like the curious george of whores
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
