So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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