Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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