a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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