i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
