shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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