First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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