Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
