Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
