so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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