you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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