Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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