the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
