I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
