Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
