I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
