He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize