Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
