She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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