Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
