I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize