Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
