You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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