I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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