I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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