can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Nicole vs. Life
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dear god my vagina.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
