It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
