if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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