Your face is a jimmy john
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
