didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
