im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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