Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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