Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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